As you know, this week on BKY has been a mini-relationship week. A few days ago I shared 2 Years of Lessons in Life & Love, where I reflected on my long-term relationship and cemented some honest lessons I’ve learned so far.
Continuing the theme, with a few more giggle and lightheartedness thrown in, today I’m sharing a selection of things anyone could experience when they move in with a partner.
Personally, the last 5 months has been my only experience of living with anyone but my parents, and the change in dynamic has been a massive shock to the system. Whilst no relationship is perfect, life pre-moving-in-together certainly felt a lot closer to it! However, with the unsure and the bad comes the good, too – which I feel is well reflected well in my little round up below.
If you’ve recently moved in with someone then have a giggle at my 11 things that happen when you move in with your partner, and then let me know some of the thoughts or experiences that you’ve had on your own.
Here we go…
You learn that no-one smells good all of the time
When you’re dating and going out on a Saturday, effort goes into looking good, feeling good and, maybe most importantly, smelling good. However, no-one smells good after a twelve-hour shift (unless you work at LUSH). You quickly learn to reserve longer hugs and cuddles for those sweet-smelling post-bath-time hours.
You choose your role as the messy or tidy one
Even if you didn’t consider yourself crazy tidy or crazy messy before you moved in together, you’ll quickly settle into one of the two roles. If you leave everything where it falls (socks, keys, shoes, towels, plates…) then you’re probably the messy one. If you get irrationally angry whenever you spot something out of place or trip over something, then bets are on that you’re the tidy one (at least in your mind).
You realise that not every night is date night
Gone are the days of spending more than one night together feeling novelty. No, now every night is just another night, and being in the same room isn’t enough of a special occasion to romance one another. When you manage to have a stimulating conversation in your PJs with spot cream on your face, the need to hit the town for a fun night is dampened.
You miss missing them
Even though living with your favourite person is great, the massive jump from weekends to 24/7 leaves your urge to miss highly diminished. The longing to see them is somewhat ruined when they walk through the door and plonk themselves on the sofa to play Fifa…
You notice how much crap you accumulate
Even if I’ve only been to Tesco, I can guarantee you that I’ll come with something I/we didn’t need. A habit only realised now I have someone to keep me accountable for my endless collections of stuff. Naturally, it works both ways and at least once a week I exclaim that he has too many of (still unpacked) boxes.
Your favourite food becomes their favourite food – and vice versa
Maybe it’s to avoid spending a small fortune on food, or maybe it’s a cute little quirk that you can show off about at family gatherings – either way, it just gets easier when you both like the same things. Great news if you like well-marinated steak and roast potatoes, not so great if you’ve shaken up with someone addicted to mackerel.
You understand why your partner should be your best friend
Spending this much time together kind of means that if they’re not your best friend, you’ll be ripping your hair out very soon. If I had to live with someone I couldn’t make conversation with all the time, I think I’d go mad. Thankfully, you can still be someone’s best friend even if you argue and passively aggressively complain about the mess every other word – lucky me!
You wonder what it would be like to live alone
Probably quite lonely. Probably a lot cleaner. Difficult one.
You begin to struggle to sleep without them
After about a month I’d say you get used to the new sleeping arrangements. Even though having less duvet than usual sucks, and sleeping in the middle of the bed, starfishing is the real dream, in your partner’s sudden absence the night is a little bit scarier and a lot harder to settle down to. Every noise could be a monster and every stir in the night is met with their empty side of the bed.
You appreciate the acts of kindness more
Due to the fact that most days we’re just going about life, when they go out of their way to do something cute for you, it means a whole lot more. It means you’ve popped into their brain (or you’ve subtly hinted for two hours that you want a cuppa), and for some reason, it’s nicer and more appreciated that way.
You learn about your own bad habits
I mean, of course, you’re perfect and don’t have any bad habits… but if there’s anything to shatter this illusion, then it’s the introduction of a roommate. Unlike parent’s they can’t ignore your age-old bad habits, like leaving lights on, not putting the milk back or – the worst – not leaving the cushions neatly arranged on the sofa. It’s a tough reality.