During big life changes or stressful events, we have the tendency to lose ourselves just a little. I think it’s pretty normal and most of the time we probably don’t even notice why we’re feeling a little flatter than usual. Sometimes it truly is easier to just grin and bear it, waiting until an answer presents itself – which is exactly what has happened to me.
Now, I’ve never had vast amounts of hobbies or been constantly busy with extracurricular (so to speak) activities BUT I have always known that I do the things I do because they feel like me – they make me comfortable and happy and I feel at home in myself when I’m doing them.
With the stressful (and exciting, of course) past few months stealing all of the attention, I haven’t had as much time to (or the means to) keep doing some of the things that keep me feeling me. I say keep doing, but the truth is that I kind of completely forgot that I actually do anything at all. For the last few months, I’ve found myself finished with one mundane task and not sure what to do next. What on earth do I usually do? I swear to god that I never used to feel this bored (or more honestly, boring) day in, day out.
I had a little brainstorm and came to the conclusion that, no, I wasn’t old before my time OR unbearably boring, I’d just lost the little voice in my head that told me what I was looking forward to. It’s supposed to tell me what I fancy doing, what I haven’t done in a while and must get back to and most of the time it just tells me what I need to rebalance myself and sink back into who I am (or rather, who I know I can be). During the last few months, however, this voice has been absent.
It’s hard to understand why it suddenly made itself scarce, but I can only assume that the responsibility and pressure of suddenly having to do some things – like the washing up, the (trying to be) making money and the “actually I do need to think about where I’ll be in 6 months because we only signed a 6-month rent agreement… I could well be homeless come November…” – meant that it decided to forget about the optional (but the best) activities altogether.
My 21-Day Soul List
Whatever the why really is, it’s time to forcefully bring back the part of me that doesn’t just feel like a pawn of society’s requirements.
During the brainstorm I mentioned earlier on, I came up with a tonne of activities and to-dos that I used to absolutely live for. Things like going for brunch on a Sunday, pampering myself a little and just arranging a shelf to take a nice flippin’ #shelfie ALL came springing back to mind – how on earth had I survived so long without these tiny but massively important things?
Even though I wanted to run out and have the best day in the entire world, ticking everything off my soul list (that’s a good name for it – right?), I decided to be sensible and spread the love out a little.
I’ve decided to take on a little three-week (or 21 day) challenge. Each day I’ll do one thing on my soul list, in hope, of reigniting my little old soul with the very things that created it and that have kept it thriving for so long.
Check out what’s on my soul list below – everything is completely personal to me and what I love… so I won’t be surprised if you roll your eyes at a few!
There are some universally great ones, right? I mean, who doesn’t love baking cakes, cuddling with cats and having a good, old fashioned giggle.
Since it’ll take me three weeks to get through my mammoth happy list, I’m going to be blogging each week about what I’ve ticked off and how it made me feel, as well as some little soulful updates on the return of the voice. I’m really excited to get going on this and have kept numbers out of the equation, so I can pick whatever I fancy each day (that’s kind of listening to my soul – right?).
I would also like to extend participation in this soul list challenge to anyone and everyone who’s felt overwhelmed by everyday life lately, too.
Living to work is fine on paper, but most of us want more from somewhere. Why can’t that somewhere be from ourselves all along? All I’m sure of is that life is better when we do things, make things and enjoy things that feel as if they were made for us. Pushing ourselves and challenging ourselves is all well and good, but I think August is a great month to put the soul first.