We have a turbulent relationship, I know. Honestly, I don’t really know why I like you, after a childhood completely free of wanting to be a writer and an adolescence certain that a new mascara would make someone fall in love with me, I don’t feel very qualified to share my tidbits of life with the internet.
I’m not a competitive person, I’d rather not compete for your attention and I’d prefer to keep my opinions to myself, so why I continue to feel compelled to write about things I’m definitely still learning is beyond me.
For a while, I was drawn in by the photos, and the distant promise of being that cool girl, but the heavy camera equipment weighed me down and the decision that I didn’t want to be a full-time blogger arrived soon after.
I’m not fussed about followers. I don’t crave likes and validation. I could delete all my social media accounts tomorrow and not shed a single tear over all the “ Great post!” comments never to be received. I know I’m not essential to the Instagram ecosystem… There are a million more half-arsed bloggers going to brunch spots just for the gram and buying stationery that will look best on their desk.
Despite all of this, I’m not quite done with you yet.
You don’t pay for my iPhone, you don’t make rainy Saturdays my favourite day, you barely even feel like a hobby on most days – and although I’ve thought about just stopping and fading away to be quickly forgotten, I’m going to carry on.
You give me a purpose on days where I don’t have much else. With you, I feel more rounded, like the thoughts in my head have sources deeply buried in the archives. Looking back at you is like flicking through a photo album – memories are awakened and promises are remembered and I feel part of something. Something that is a physical, measurable nugget of all the thoughts and feelings that have ever run through my mind.
So, there you have it – I’m not done with blogging just yet. I’m excited to carry on and create, share and innovate and write about my giggles and my wobbles.
If you’ve been reading bky. for a while, then you’ll know my ultimate blogging goal isn’t to blog full-time. For years, I’ve been sure that making my moolah by being some sort of influencer would cause far too much stress, self-doubt and anxiety for me and making this decision has honestly completely changed my perspective of lifestyle blogging.
Last week I stumbled across the sweetest little blog that was so simple, calm and honest. The effortlessness of the content was so refreshing and the mix of topics was genuinely interesting – a real snapshot of the blogger’s life.
Right then, I decided that that kind of lifestyle blogging is the blogging I can still handle. It’s the kind of blogging that I’m cut out for, honestly. No bashing on about products I don’t use, no trying to fix other people’s problems, just a conversation about things that are important and interesting to me.
This almost-epiphany, as well as my wonderful feature in the lastest Blogosphere magazine, has spurred me on to not drop blogging just yet.
At its worst, I’m shouting into an empty room about the things I love doing and how I do them – at it’s best a few people are shouting back. I think I can be pretty happy with that, you know.
Until next time,